2. THE STRUGGLE CAN BE SO REAL!
So, we just overlooked the obvious coolness of the funny-strange-unique-beautiful-european-family-mess I’m in. But one truth about being a TCK I’ve been facing a lot, (and that many people don’t understand) is the following: You either have to embrace it or fight against it! OWN IT OR QUIT! I believe that TCK’s have to face challenges that they’ll need to figure out without the support of a human shoulder. I believe in another help, but we’ll come to that later. Basically, there are challenges that only TCK’s are dealing with. For example, the world’s your home. It’s amaazing. I have 3 different home countries. And I love everyone of them dearly, for various reasons. But there isn’t one single of my 3 countries where I fully and completely feel at home. I belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Wether I’ll be in Germany, France or England, there will always a thing, a person or a moment that will remember my « specialness » and make me feel different, sooner or later. People mostly don’t realise. And I don’t hold that against them. But I feel different. Because I have an accent or I don’t understand what some guy said, or I used a word that isn’t accurate… Different because I don’t have the same cultural references, as the French/German/ Brits.. (« What you don’t know that movie/song?! » What’s wrong with you?) I must admit it’s hard to measure up. So different Sometimes, I could feel excluded. So excluded that I would feel homeless.
A few years ago, I decided to move to Germany for twelve months. It was one of my childhood dreams: the beautiful Germany of my holidays, the nice people, the good food, the language I love (Yeah, I guess I’m the only Frenchy that actually looves German, and I’m the only German that thinks French-is-a–rather-nice-language-but-let’s-not-over-do-it) I sincerely expected my German dudes to welcome me with open arms, I expected to find in Germany the home I felt like I never had to 100% in France. Well. How can I put it? It was an utter fail. I felt like a stranger in a country I thought was mine, but that didn’t feel like home for many months. Eventually, with time, I adjusted. But it was tough. Tougher, than I had expected. At that moment, the struggle was definetely real!
Every one of us needs a place that we can call our home, without even thinking. Every human being has such a deep longing for a home, for a safe haven, a place where we can truly be our authentic selves. A place where, no matter what, we know for sure that we will always belong to. I want to be honest with you. It’s an encounter that changed my life forever. An encouter that gave me a definite home. A far bigger, far higher home, than geographical borders, national identities, people’s opinions or personal emotions. A home that I will always call the same, no matter what I feel or what happens. A safe haven, like no other…